One thing that I really enjoy about the updated Facebook is the friend hustling segment entitled "People You May Know". This has not only served as a vehicle for finding those Middle School assholes who giddily called me Nicorette for years, but has connected me to many budding families.
I want to take a minute to explain the High School I went to. It was a Private, Prep School in Pennsylvania. Let's just say, our parents had survived in a town that was predominately poor, and given us the gift of an AMAZING education. My classmates and I really had nothing to complain about. Sure, everyone rebels, but I never saw so much as a few stoned kids in my days there.
So here I am, Facebooking, years after I have graduated, and here is one of those persons I should know. However, this person never looked liked an infant when I knew her. In a massive panic, I franticly add this person. In no way am I hoping to reconnect with the girl I had once dubbed "The Make-Up Box from Hell," I am merely trying to drop those privacy settings that are stonewalling me from unveiling important facts. Facts such as if this baby really is hers or just some new sibling, if she is in a relationship, and if the father is one of those incredulous douches I had hoped she would one day end up with. But most important, I am searching for those drunk pictures from that night less than nine months ago when she is holding a red Solo cup in one hand and a joint in the other. Those, my friends, are gold. And yes, I found appropriate answers to all my questions.
It's amazing what the internet can do for us these days. It almost makes me wonder what is to come. Will Facebook someday serve as a collective social time line, displaying all the ups and downs of everyone I have ever known? Maybe not anytime soon, but a little part of me hopes that these "proud" parents serve as some lesson for younger girls. No, my friend, Baby is not the new Black.
